Red Flag Behaviors of Troubled Teens

Teenage brains are not fully developed until around their mid-20s. During adolescence, the prefrontal cortex, which controls logic and reasoning, is still being restructured and forming new synapses. As a result, information is processed differently than it would be by a mature adult brain.

Teens, for instance, often misread and misunderstand emotions expressed in other people’s facial expressions because their brains still rely on the amygdala, which is responsible for emotional reactions, instead of on their prefrontal cortex to interpret emotional cues.

Troubled teens versus other adolescents

Teens face many challenges as they transition from childhood to adulthood. In addition to their still-developing brains, they are also experiencing major physiological, emotional, and hormonal changes.

Behaving impulsively, being unpredictable, and experiencing mood swings are all characteristics typically associated with this phase of adjustment and seeking to become independent and discover who they are. Troubled teens, on the other hand, tend to manifest physical and psychological patterns of behavior that go beyond normal teenage issues.

Typical teens trying to assert their independence, for instance, may frequently butt heads and argue with their parents. Troubled teens, however, are likely to have arguments that escalate, get into fights, and act violently or aggressively.

Red flag behaviors of troubled teens

• Changing appearance that goes beyond fashion.
• Failing grades, cutting classes, and skipping school.
• Difficulty controlling their emotions.
• Extreme mood swings that do not fit the situation.
• Unreasonable fits of anger and hostility.
• Lashing out at others and starting fights at school.
• Violence and run-ins with the law.
• Being cruel to animals.
• Persistent sadness or anxiety.
• Sleep problems and/or eating disorders.
• Loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities.
• Risky behaviors such as alcohol or drug abuse .
• Sudden change in their group of friends to peers who encourage negative behavior, get into trouble or have a criminal record.
• Defiance, disrespect, and refusal to obey rules or boundaries.
• Being secretive.
• Lying to avoid the consequences of bad behavior.
• Withdrawing from family and friends, and spending time alone in their room or online.
• Lack of self-esteem.
• Frequently hanging out in public places and/or staying out all night.
• Obsession with playing violent video games or watching violent movies.
• Threatening or bullying others.
• Self-harm and/or thoughts of suicide.

Tips for supporting teenagers who need help

Understand the facts

Educate yourself on the facts about common problems and pressures teens face in today’s world.

Connect with your teen

Connect with your teen calmly, balanced, and relaxedly no matter how provoked you feel. If he or she responds in an irritated or angry way, give them space to retreat and cool off, and let them know that you are available if and when they want to open up.

Try to find some area of common ground, such as a shared interest, that you can discuss peacefully. When your teen does talk to you, maintain eye contact, be a good listener, validate their point of view, and listen without criticizing, judging, or offering advice.

Don’t ignore angry or violent behavior

Establish rules, boundaries, and consequences for negative behavior, and be consistent in following through with them.

Help your teen learn to diffuse anger in healthy ways

Try to understand what’s behind your teen’s anger and what triggers it. Focus on being a good role model and encourage them to diffuse their anger in a healthy way such as engaging in some form of vigorous physical exercise, running, punching a pillow, or dancing to loud music.

Help your teen make healthy lifestyle changes

Add balance to your teen’s life by adding structure, such as regular mealtimes and bedtimes. Ensure your teen gets enough sleep and encourage healthy eating and some form of regular exercise by setting a good example yourself. Insist on sitting down to eat meals together without electronics or other distractions.

Recognize the signs of depression

Some of the red flags in the previous section, such as problems at school, using drugs or alcohol, and spending excessive time alone or online, can also be signs of teen depression.

Seek professional help

Therapy provides a safe, unbiased, supportive environment in which a teen can freely express themselves, discover what lies at the root of their issues, and become equipped with techniques for coping with them.

If you would like to set up an appointment to meet with one of the faith-based counselors at Irvine Christian Counseling in California, please give us a call.