From time to time, the closest of connections encounter a conflict that requires resolution. While this may not be surprising, we do not always realize the areas where the enemy would want to inflict relationship issues with offense, isolating and separating us from those we love.

Sometimes, it is momentary, but in other instances, we nurse resentment instead of the bonds that brought us into each other’s lives. We must realize that every relationship issue can either bring us closer to God’s original design, not only for the relationship, but also for personal development, or it can drive us further away.

We do not have to fear conflict. It will find its way to us whether we avoid or confront it. Yet, we need to realize that conflict is part of life and managing relationships. Recognizing this will support us in embracing and adapting the communication skills needed to thrive in fellowship with others. It does not happen automatically, but rather with humility and honor, patience and practice, time, and testing.

Humility and honor.

Jesus was forthright in His teachings, conveying that offenses would come through the course of human interactions (Luke 17:1). Yet, He also provided a variety of ways for us to resolve our communication and relationship issues by engaging with God, searching our hearts, and listening to one another (Psalm 4:4; Matthew 5:23-24; James 1:19-20).

Learning to discern the Father’s Heart can help us avoid damaging our connections. The Holy will draw our attention to areas where we need to experience the light of Christ and make relevant changes.

Investing in healthy communication dispels darkness, declaring “Let there be light,” even as the Father spoke at the beginning (Genesis 1:3). Active listening and communication with those we love will enlighten us to see them as God does. From that place, we can honor who He has made each of us to be.

When we prioritize understanding, we drive out darkness where ignorance hampers sound judgment and personal development. Incorrect assumptions only serve to damage, but we can adjust skewed and misguided perspectives through conversations that start with seeking the Lord and culminate in communicating with our brother or sister.

Patience and practice.

When we position our hearts to learn through interpersonal communication, we are blessed with insight about others and ourselves. Healthy communication promotes learning and personal development and can develop our skills for use in other relationships.

It is never a waste to gather clarity and initiate the kinds of conversations that unite us in search of viable solutions and resolutions. We will not know the potential of any relationship if we do not stretch beyond the discomfort of interpersonal conflict.

There are times, however, when we do need to take a step back. Yet, we do not always fill the silence with prayer and contemplation. When we are wounded because of a conflict, the hurt part of us tends to repeat a faulty narrative, mimicking the accuser’s voice.

We must capture these thoughts and fill our minds with what is true and honest, not only about the other person, but also ourselves (Philippians 4:8). Otherwise, we offer the enemy an opportunity to build a fortress in our minds; but we can exercise the ability and authority to overturn the stones he uses to erect walls around our hearts (Ephesians 4:27).

Time and testing.

Walls isolate us, but fences allow for openings where we can experience life-giving exchanges with others. Such gates offer the flexibility for us to redraw our boundary lines and test what we are learning about communication and resolving relationship issues. Sometimes, we need to release those who are not meant to remain in the same space with us.

In other seasons, we welcome that God intends to be closer. As we learn and grow, our needs will not remain static, but rather evolve as will the relationships we have cultivated over time and seasons.

Let’s receive the grace to continue developing into who God has already ordained us to be. We can acquire and practice this essential skill with the Holy Spirit’s help. He enables us to give and receive grace, space to breathe, and room to grow in relationships that are in transition.

We must realize that others are undergoing a similar process that we may not understand. They will also need our empathy and respect as we all adapt to the changes that are happening in us individually and surfacing through our interactions.

Next steps to overcome relationship issues.

Wherever you are in the process of working through relationship issues, realize that you are not alone. God is present and able to help you learn and practice the skills for thriving relationships. The Holy Spirit has guided you to this point where you can encounter a supportive counselor. Search this site to locate and schedule an appointment with a professional. You will find communication skills and creative solutions for relationship issues to let in the light.

“Compass”, Courtesy of Jordan Madrid,, CC0 License; “Signpost”, Courtesy of Monty Allen,, CC0 License; “Compass”, Courtesy of Mick Haupt,, CC0 License
By Published On: February 1st, 20244.4 min read


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