Hope for the Heartache: Activities to Help the Grieving Process

Described as a complicated emotional experience, grief affects several areas of a person’s life. Experiences of grief and loss not only happen to people whose loved one passed away. It can also be experienced when a relationship ends, when dreams, opportunities, and jobs are lost, or even when another chapter of one’s life unfolds.

It’s natural for people to experience grief when something ends in their lives. This process, although appropriate, can often be tough and even overwhelming to handle. Each person has their own way of grieving but most will experience denial, anger, bargaining, even depression. Irvine Christian Counseling can offer support and guidance to help you navigate the complex emotions of grief.

We might find it hard to get back on our feet after experiencing loss but it’s important to keep in mind that grief does not always have to be filled with sadness and mourning, it’s possible to feelings of joy, contentment, and even humor while going through it. One can experience grief in a number of different ways, and there is no specific way to deal with a loss.

This article will further explore several kinds of activities related to grief and loss that may help ease the heart. These activities help you to recognize and face some of the feelings involved with grief and loss.

Grief is often complex and does not a set pattern or linear process and there isn’t any one best way to deal with it. Every individual experiences grief in a unique way and there is no specific timetable on when it’s going to end. There may be people who prefer to express their emotions more, talk about what they’re experiencing, and keep close anything that reminds them of happier times.

There are also those who approach grief in a more detached manner and choose to distract themselves from painful feelings that they don’t believe they’re capable of changing. But when processing grief or loss, it’s important to personally recognize the difficulties in a healthy way whether it involves others or by yourself.

Types of Grief

As discussed above, there are various types of grief and loss. Sometimes grief happens when death or loss is merely expected and can closely resemble post-mortem grief. When grief is expected, people can prepare themselves and have the chance to try to find closure before the loss.

Unexpected grief, on the other hand, is when a sudden loss happens or without any warning. This may leave someone feeling like they’re being assaulted and for them, the grieving process may involve trauma or shock.

Shadow or anniversary grief is a common type of grief triggered by an anniversary, special date, or holiday related to a loss and which can lead to further grief experiences. A person may feel blindsided by this type of grief.

“Grief over secondary losses” is another common experience with grief where the primary loss a secondary loss. A common example is financial loss or loss of freedom caused by the death of a loved one.

Complicated grief occurs when the grief process does not fit the expected norm because of interrelated elements that could involve several losses, lack of support, trauma, ending of a long-term relationship, losing a child, etc.,

Disenfranchised grief happens when the grief is not supported socially, validated, or openly recognized, making it a type of complicated grief. You may have noticed how the types of grief vary, demonstrating that grief experiences can vary radically as to their symptoms and timelines.

Activities to Help the Grieving Process

There are several activities capable of helping you through the different steps of your grieving process. It would be best to perform these exercises with a trustworthy friend or a counselor to guide and become a witness to the grief journey you’re taking.

Rituals and symbols

There’s a simple yet deeper meaning behind rituals. They can also be a method of honoring a loss. You can create something that purposely symbolizes your decision to honor the loss and the choice to keep on living well in light of that loss. This can be an empowering element that may be helpful in your grieving process.

You may want to play a specific music, light a candle, start gardening, or release a balloon in the sky; a ritual can be as simple as these. Another great way to give honor to the memory of something or someone who was lost is to keep an object as a representation or symbolism for the ritual in a place where you constantly see it. It is how you will be reminded of your ongoing and intentional grief journey.

Join a Support Group

It can be hard to share or have someone understand your walk through your grief process especially because the world still seems to revolve around you. It’s best to look for an environment surrounded by people who can recognize the loss, regardless of the size and timing, as they can provide opportunities to support you in a special way.

You may not be able to find all of the answers to all of your questions in support groups but they are a perfect place for you to have the opportunity to ask questions and share your experience together with those who are going through the same grief process as you.

Attending a support group may need a lot of courage as you open up about the vulnerable and personal feelings attached to your grief but it’s important for you to share them. You need to know you are not the only one going through this journey. These groups will help you accept the fact that not all things can be figured out and that’s okay. If you’re not ready to move and if you’re not exactly moving to where you need to be in your process, that’s okay too.

The support, encouragement, and understanding offered by these groups help you find a resolution because you know you’re being truly heard by those who can really understand.

Keep a Journal
Keeping a journal with you to write about what you’re experiencing may be extremely helpful. When you write your thoughts and emotions into paper, you are able to get things out without being overwhelmed but rather keeping them safe in a place where you can keep them until you feel like looking back at them again.

It doesn’t have to be a daily practice, nor should you feel as if you’ll get punished for not being diligent in putting in your entry. You can write whatever it is your feeling and experiencing whenever you’re in the mood to do so.

Write a Letter

Dealing with your emotions during the grieving process can sometimes be a difficult thing to do when you’re feeling like there is unfinished business you need to settle due to a sudden loss and it can become an obstacle preventing you from moving forward. It’s best to find out what’s going on in order for you to express and release your feelings.

Writing a letter is a great way to do this. When you write an “unfinished business” letter, it gives you the chance to explore and discover what may have been left unsaid or unaddressed.

Take the time to write a letter addressed to the person, object, dream, or opportunity that was lost to help you ask or express things that you may not have had the chance to do before. Here’s a good example you may want to consider writing: “I wish I had,” “I wanted to say,” “I was scared to let you know,” “I never got to ask,” etc.

When you have finished writing the letter, read it again to yourself. What lessons are you getting from this letter? Recognize what you felt when you were writing the letter as well as after you completed it. You can read the letter once or as many times as possible; it’s up to you when you want to express, explore, and revisit it.

Keep in mind that there is no standard way to do this. Consider this letter to be the first step in organizing your thoughts or emotions that you once found difficult to handle. Naming an unfinished business and addressing the emotions associated with it can play a huge role in your grieving journey.

Outreach

The healing and rewarding part of the grieving process sometimes starts by stepping outside of your own process for a moment. You can look for someone who’s going through a similar grief experience and reach to that person. It will give you the opportunity to encourage and share your recognition of what grief means.

You will feel rewarded when you connect, share, and encourage others who are perhaps on the same level as you are in their grief process. Opening your heart to someone and showing empathy that only you who has gone through a similar grief story can provide is a great way to turn your own pain around and experience love and compassion instead.

Tips for Coping with Grief

You must not isolate yourself. You’re not the only one grieving. Look for someone who you feel comfortable being around while you’re walking through your grief journey. Some of the best places and people you can turn to are social groups, churches, family, and friends. They are typically more than ready to help but just don’t know how. Don’t hesitate to reach out and let them know what you need help with. Be open to receiving support from the people who love and care for you.

Give yourself some time.

This may look overwhelming and it may seem like it’s taking forever, but you need to allow yourself to deal with grief in your own time.

Have patience.

We all experience grief in different ways and in our own time. There is no such thing as a linear or straightforward process. It’s normal to feel different types of emotions. You are free to experience your loss at your own pace.

Take good care of yourself.

Taking care of yourself is probably the last thing you will think of when you’re overwhelmed with feelings related to grief and loss and it causes negative emotions. You may find it hard to snap out of it. Give yourself time to sleep, eat well, and exercise.

Be kind to yourself.

Express yourself more, get lost in what you are doing, and be creative. This can lift up whatever heavy feelings you have associated with the loss.

Recognize the underlying causes of the intense symptoms of grief that you’re experiencing. These reasons can be anything from a song that brings back a memory to a specific date or milestone that reminds you of the feelings of grief and loss. You may find it helpful to identify and establish a plan for what will be of great advantage for you when you feel vulnerable or even aware of an event or holiday soon to come that could be painful.

Seeking Grief Support

Counseling is not always necessary for every loss, grief, or emotional hardships. However, it’s best to reach out if your grief is causing you to find comfort in harmful activities, if you feel like you’re not getting enough support from friends and family, if you constantly recall painful memories, or if you’re feeling depressed.

Counseling is a great place for you to share your grief story and receive the support you need, helping you progress from the pain to acceptance. Counseling can guide you in dealing with feelings associated with the loss. Request the assistance of a counselor today to gain a professional partner that can walk alongside you as you start learning how to live with life after a loss.

We are here to witness and honor your unique experience in grief, provide you support and materials, and guide you towards a life-changing journey by revamping your energy and emotions after a loss. Irvine Christian Counseling is here to walk alongside you during this difficult time and help you find healing and renewal.