If you’ve ever thought about going for counseling, here’s a list of eight vital things to know about therapy:
1. Therapy actually IS for everyone.
Therapy tends to have a stigma to it. Just the word may cripple some. It is, at times, associated with being crazy or weak. You may even be tempted to believe you can handle your issues yourself and feel that’s a strength. Nothing could be further from the truth, however.
Generally, it is a matter of pride that gets in the way. Pride detours us from getting the help we really need. Therapy is beneficial for every individual because none of us are perfect so we can all use help at some point within our lives.
We don’t always have the strength or the answers but still, we try to bear our burdens alone and that’s a difficult thing to do. We’re all imperfect. That is our humanity. Erving Polster put it well when he said that therapy is a thing that’s too good for it to be available only for the sick.
2. It is a therapist’s duty to educate clients on what’s healthy mentally rather than to pick sides.
Many people find it a strange concept to talk to a total stranger about their deep secrets and their feelings as well. That’s totally understandable. You may be wondering about the benefits of being in counseling. There is a myriad of them.
First and foremost, a counselor is trained and is a professional with a non-partial outlook. A therapist doesn’t judge or try to decide who’s good or bad. They are there to help, period the end. They want to see you become mentally and emotionally healthy and that is why they have chosen to be in the counseling field.
A counselor’s ultimate goal is always to assist their client in brainstorming for solutions and identifying their personal needs. They engage in things that promote empowerment. They don’t listen to families or couples to figure out who is right and who’s wrong. That is not the object at all. They listen to hear and to sense the dynamic and from there to come up with viable solutions.
Another benefit to using a counselor is that when we’re in the midst of the storm, our emotional state isn’t always great. We get all wrapped in the issue rather than thinking logically with a clear perspective.
Therapists have the ability to clearly see things minus the complications of emotions. That makes it easier to help find solutions that are realistic. A counselor looks into the situation you are in and assessing what is unhealthy and what is healthy for you which is something that can be very difficult to do for yourself.
Ironically, it is often the very same individuals who say that talking to someone they don’t know is awkward and uncomfortable the end up loving therapy the most. They warm up and begin to feel comfortable and safe and then the sky is the limit to the help they can receive.
3. Therapy is not an instant fix.
Don’t be discouraged if you don’t feel that counseling is working, good things take a little time. Each issue is different and every therapy session is unique. Sometimes, counseling is like peeling the layers of an onion.
Little by little, the layers are removed to reveal the source that can then be dealt with, though that may take some time. Remember, you didn’t get into the state you are in overnight so getting better won’t be instant either. However, it will be well worth the time spent.
Much of the success of therapy has to do with awareness and attitude and the client’s desire to undergo change. It also depends upon their willingness to work at the problem at hand and requires honesty as well. When clients are not honest with their therapist and/or themselves, the process takes much longer.
Sometimes, clients don’t desire the result they are aiming for bad enough to put in the work. They complain that it is taking too long and that it is too hard. While that is certainly understandable, commitment is essential to reach the final goal. Not every client is ready for everything involved in their therapy and not every client is willing to do their part, either.
Doing the work is a choice clients must make. It is never forced upon them nor could it be. Some clients have expectations that aren’t realistic. They have a picture in their mind of what therapy should feel and look like and if that preconceived expectation is not met, they are disappointed. Some feel a counselor is a person who just sits in a chair giving advice. That is certainly not true. Much more is given and much more is expected too.
The therapist doesn’t tell you what you should do. They do, however, attempt to figure how your personal value system plays into the decision-making process you employ. It may be that your system could stand some changing. Counselors do the best they can to suggest solutions that are good fits for your own individual beliefs and values.
Indeed, therapy is not easy. It involves a lot of hard work. Therapy results take time to present themselves but they will, in due time. When they do, they are immensely rewarding to both the client and the counselor.
Therapists aren’t magicians. It would be nice if they were but there’s no quick fix in therapy. But by having a counselor in your corner to encourage, listen, suggest and cheer your progress on, you’ll find therapy is priceless.
4. Homework is imperative.
Most likely, you will be asked to complete some short assignments when in counseling. They are designed to help you grow. If you don’t want to engage in work outside of the session, it must be questioned how much you are willing to put into your recovery.
It’s important for you to be willing to do all it takes to get healthier. The relationship with your counselor should be as a team, both being willing to go the extra mile in order to win.
5. You control the sessions.
Therapists want their clients to be open and to communicate freely about their needs in the event their client needs more than they feel they are getting,
Counselors encourage their clients to communicate and express their feelings and their needs to if one feels something more is needed, it’s a good thing. Clients often benefit from additional tools such as worksheets, reading resources, and other extras. Therapists welcome client input, no matter what it entails.
Therapists are human. They may say or do the wrong thing sometimes. They may even hurt your feelings by accident. It’s alright to tell your counselor if you have been offended or disagree with something. Therapists are working on their personal and professional growth on an ongoing basis.
A counselor strives to give the correct resources for their clients but also want to know if their clients feel those things could be improved upon. It something isn’t working for a client, the therapist would like to know so they can look for alternatives that might work better.
As a client, you are ultimately in control of your session. You will never be forced or manipulated to do anything you don’t want to do or don’t agree with. If you aren’t up to something or feel uncomfortable with it, it is your full right to make that known.
6. Therapists, like shoes, can be found in all variations.
You may need to shop around in order to find a therapist who is a perfect fit for you. Just like finding great shoes or the best outfit ever, you may not have discovered it in the first shop you went into. The same is true with therapists.
Individuals have altogether different and unique personalities. Not all personalities get along well together. The counselor and client relationship may not be a match made in heaven and if it isn’t, there is no shame in finding one that better suits you.
Therapists are equipped to handle anything. Being told by a client that they would like to go elsewhere or try something that’s different is not a problem. They respect your decision and you’ll not cause their feelings to be hurt. Counselors want the best for their clients, no matter what that happens to be.
7. Things sometimes don’t get better until they get worse.
While in therapy, you and your therapist will talk about your current issues and also discuss past experiences and ways in which they may’ve fit together to shape the individual you are now. Your therapist will take a look at the role those things have in how you think, whether rationally or irrationally.
Your counselor will look at family dynamics and your background. It can be difficult to revisit the past and relive feelings you have suppressed for years. Feelings may surface that you wish wouldn’t but this is all part of the healing and growth process.
Many individuals feel they’ve worked through their past and don’t wish to return. If that’s the case, your therapist will honor your wishes but you may want to reconsider. Sometimes going over the past wipes the slate cleaner than ever before.
The past doesn’t define who you are. It simply shapes you. If you let it, your past can make you stronger if you are willing to face it and allow it to help you grow. Even when things are difficult and life is hard, sticking it out is the best thing that could ever happen to you. It may be very difficult now but it will get better.
8. Therapists are fearless trained professionals.
Sometimes a client fears that their therapist will think they’re crazy, stupid, or not thinking clearly. They worry what the counselor thinks of them after spilling their innermost feelings. The truth is, therapists are immune to being shocked or even passing judgements. They are professionals who are highly trained to deal with such things and even more.
When it all boils down, most people have a lot in common although they are totally unique, they are still human beings. Humans have the need and desire to love and be loved. They long to be understood. We need one another and that’s the bottom line.
Don’t attempt to face the big world all alone. There are millions of people and many have the resources to help you. Take advantage of that. Someone is waiting to help. That person might be hoping you will make that call today
If you’re struggling, begin by admitting you could benefit from having someone share your burden. You need someone to walk alongside you so you are not in it alone. There’s nothing wrong with needing some help – from time to time, we all do.
The shame is in not reaching out for help when you need it when it is there for the taking. If you don’t accept it, your life will not be as enriched as it could have been. Burdens can be lifted and your life can be made better all by simply taking the help that is being offered.
Imagine someone lifting a tremendous weight off of you and how relieved you would feel. Think of the person lifting the weight as a counselor and you’ll get the picture of what therapy is designed to be. Reach out today and contact one of our therapists to set up a time to meet and experience the relief for yourself. You deserve it.
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