Sex addiction is a real and complex issue that is often either dismissed outright or simply misunderstood. Many people are affected by it, either directly or because they have a loved one in their lives who struggles with it.
Sex addiction is known as compulsive sexual behavior disorder, and it’s important to approach it with clarity and compassion to offer meaningful support rooted in biblical truth and evidence-based understanding.
Sex addiction is not about a person having a high sex drive or libido; rather, it stems from a loss of control, with the individual feeling and being trapped in a cycle they struggle to break free from by themselves. Typically, sex addiction is marked by a person having an overwhelming preoccupation with sexual urges, behaviors, or thoughts that persist even when they result in deeply harmful outcomes.
Some Signs of Sex Addiction
When a person has an addiction, they will often have compulsive thoughts and behaviors that relate to specific objects, substances, or actions. A sex addiction is typically accompanied by compulsions and behaviors that relate to sexual thoughts and actions.
Some of the signs of sex addiction include the following:
- Multiple sexual partners. These may be one-night stands with strangers or people known to them, or serial affairs, conducted without consideration for safety or emotional connection.
- Frequent and compulsive masturbation. Masturbating frequently or excessively, especially when it functions as a way to cope with stress or emotional pain.
- Excessive use of pornography. Consuming large amounts of pornography, owning an extensive catalogue of pornographic material, or engaging with pornography to the point where it interferes with your daily life.
- Risk-taking behaviors. Engaging in high-risk sexual behaviors like unprotected sex with strangers, voyeurism, or soliciting sex workers.
- Being dominated by sex. Sex can dominate a person’s life in several ways, including driving their behaviors. Engaging in cybersex, having pervasive thoughts about sex, constantly talking about sex, or drawing others towards sexual behaviors such as strip clubs or adult stores, may all point to sex addiction. Using sex for the purpose of being accepted or feeling loved or enlightened may also point to sex addiction.
These thoughts, actions, or behaviors in themselves may be problematic, but what points to them being a sex addiction is when they are compulsive. That is when someone pursues them despite the fact that it causes damage in their professional or personal life. The risk of losing work, contracting a sexually transmitted disease, unwanted pregnancy, or the possibility of jail time doesn’t work as a deterrent for these behaviors.
A person who’s operating under a compulsion also isn’t necessarily enjoying the sexual encounters or thoughts. The sense of satisfaction and connection that typically accompanies meaningful sex is absent, and they may find themselves continuing to engage in these behaviors even though it leads to feelings of guilt or emotional and mental health issues.
The Underlying Issues and Causes of Sex Addiction
If a person seeks to overcome sexual addiction, it’s important for them to understand the issues that may have caused it to begin with. Often, there is a combination of factors that can contribute to sex addiction, and they include neurochemical factors. The feel-good neurochemical dopamine gets released during sexual activity, and a person trying to cope with emotional lows might seek the repeated highs from sexual activity.
Another possible factor that can cause sexual addiction is unresolved trauma, such as childhood neglect or abuse. It may result in using sexual behavior to escape or as a form of coping with emotional pain, stress, or anxiety. There are also co-occurring mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, or low self-worth, which can contribute to compulsive sexual behavior.
Lastly, there may also be a spiritual component to sexual addiction. Not being spiritually grounded can result in the attempt to fill a void that is meant only for God, and the way we often try to fill this void is with short-lived pleasures that may worsen addictive tendencies. Romans 8:1 (NIV) reminds us, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” A new beginning is possible, and it’s within reach.
