Running on Empty: Finding Purpose in a World That Demands More

The Illusion of Success: When More is Never Enough

A year ago, my husband and I packed up our lives and moved to Orange County with our two young adult daughters. It was a bold – maybe even crazy decision – relocating to a more expensive area, leaving behind twenty-plus years of community, and, in many ways, starting over. We knew God had called us here, but we didn’t yet understand why.

It didn’t take long for the cultural pressure to hit. In Orange County, success is on full display. Luxury cars gleam in pristine driveways, designer logos are everywhere, and million-dollar homes dot the hillsides. The message is loud and clear: achievement is measured by material possessions and wealth.

For a brief moment, I almost bought into it – that subtle yet dangerous belief that happiness is always just one more purchase or milestone away. The thought that “once I have [fill in the blank], then I’ll be happy.” But it’s an illusion, one that traps many in a cycle of debt, burnout, and self-doubt. And yet, even those who seem to have it all often feel profoundly empty.

The Empty Promise: Why Success Feels Hollow

Society glorifies financial wealth and social status, convincing us that success is defined by what we own rather than who we are. The constant comparison to others – who has more, who’s doing better – creates a treadmill of inadequacy. The pursuit of affluence leads many to sacrifice their well-being, relationships, and personal growth in exchange for fleeting validation. Irvine Christian Counseling can offer support and guidance to help individuals shift their focus from external measures of success to finding fulfillment in their true identity and well-being.

But why do so many people who seemingly have it all still feel empty? Because external achievements can never replace inner fulfillment. Scripture warns us of this.

Whoever loves money never has enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with their income. This too is meaningless. – Ecclesiastes 5:10, NIV

The truth is that when we chase success for validation or status, no accomplishment – no matter how impressive – will ever satisfy the deeper longing for meaning and connection that lives inside us all. As Jesus reminds us in Luke 12:15 “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.”

The cost of chasing material success is high – stress, exhaustion, and, perhaps most tragically, the neglect of what truly matters most. When wealth becomes our highest priority, we lose sight of the things that bring genuine joy: faith, relationships, purpose, and service. True fulfillment comes from pursuing aspirations aligned with our personal values and God’s greater plan, not from checking boxes on someone else’s definition of success.

Happiness vs. Joy: Understanding the Difference

Part of reframing our understanding of fulfillment requires distinguishing between happiness and joy. Though often used interchangeably, they are fundamentally different experiences.

Happiness is fleeting. It’s a temporary emotion triggered by external circumstances, like receiving a gift, hitting a goal, or enjoying a fun moment.

Joy is enduring. It’s a deeper state of contentment and well-being that comes from within, independent of life’s ups and downs.

Joy isn’t found in the next promotion, a bigger house, or a new luxury item. It isn’t dependent on circumstances. Joy persists even when happiness fades. True contentment isn’t found in what we acquire but in how we choose to experience life as it is. As Paul reminds us in Philippians 4:11-12, “I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.”

Yet, we live in a world that tells us the opposite.

The Cost of Chasing More: When Success Steals Your Peace

As a mental health counselor, I’ve witnessed firsthand the toll of this endless pursuit. Here, in Southern California, the pressure feels magnified. The relentless chase for success – owning a home, excelling at work, being the perfect parent, partner, and friend – while juggling financial obligations on limited energy is overwhelming for many.

Everyone is stressed. Always rushing. Instead of slowing down or resting, many cope in ways that only deepen the cycle – drinking, drugs, overworking, avoiding loved ones, numbing out, or seeking escape elsewhere.

The toll on mental health is devastating. According to the American Psychological Association, work-related stress contributes to approximately $500 billion in healthcare costs annually, with nearly 550 million workdays lost due to stress on the job each year. Behind these statistics are real people suffering real consequences.

Take Maria (name changed), a manager at a company who came to therapy after her third panic attack in a month. “I have the corner office, the beachfront condo, and the luxury car I always wanted,” she told me. “But I’m too exhausted to enjoy any of it. I can’t remember the last time I had dinner with friends without checking my email under the table.”

Even when we get everything that we thought would make us happy – the house, the job, the lifestyle – something still feels missing. So we chase more, believing the next achievement will finally bring fulfillment.

I know this because I’ve been there too. I’ve searched for fulfillment outside of God and my family, in work, in material things, in people, in new experiences – only to find that the more I chased, the more lost I felt. I have veered off track many times, believing that if I just found the right opportunity, the right achievement, or the right experience, the missing piece would finally fall into place.

But Matthew 6:33 offers a different truth: “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

Real joy isn’t in the chase, it’s in the shift. It’s in refocusing on what truly matters.

Where Your Focus Goes, Your Energy Flows

I am learning that focus is everything. Where you place your focus, your energy follows. This simple truth has profound implications for how we live.

When your focus is on purpose, meaning, and fulfillment – not money, things, or relationships – you become happier, more content, and grateful for what you already have. You stop obsessing over what you think is missing.

Yes, I find my purpose in God, but I am quite easily distracted. I have to keep reminding myself because there have been times when I’ve looked back and realized how far off track I’ve gone. Hebrews 12:2 reminds me to keep my eyes on Jesus: “Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.”

If you resonate with this, now you know – you’re not alone.

This journey isn’t about achieving perfection. It’s about noticing when we’ve drifted and gently steering back toward what matters most. The path to true fulfillment isn’t linear; it’s filled with steps forward and backward, moments of clarity, and periods of confusion.

Choosing a Different Path: Redefining Success

Our move to Orange County initially seemed counterintuitive – stepping into a culture that often epitomizes the very value system we were questioning. Yet perhaps that’s exactly why we were called here: to live differently amid the pressure to conform.

Every day presents a choice: to chase the illusion or to pursue what genuinely matters. True fulfillment isn’t marked by price tags but by purpose, connection, and a life well lived.

What I’ve discovered in my most honest moments is that God’s plan for us is always better than our own. Even when following His path means swimming against the cultural current – especially in places where success is so visibly defined by material standards.

We were created for more than endless acquisition. We were made for meaning, for purpose, for connection with God and with others. When we reorient our lives around these truths, the pressure to conform to society’s definition of success begins to lose its grip.

If you find yourself caught in the cycle of chasing more yet feeling emptier, you don’t have to navigate it alone. Therapy can be a powerful step in shifting your focus, reconnecting with what truly matters, and finding joy in the present instead of the pursuit. Irvine Christian Counseling can help you on this journey, providing the support you need to rediscover balance and peace in your life.

The path to freedom from the illusion of success begins with a simple question: What if the life you’re chasing isn’t the one that will truly fulfill you? Maybe it’s time to redefine success – not by what you have, but by who you are becoming.