Finding Emotional Healing After Miscarriage

According to statistics, one in five pregnancies ends in miscarriage during the first 12 weeks of gestation. For most women, it is a traumatic, heartbreaking event, often referred to in discussions as the club no one wants to be in.

After miscarriage, feelings may run the gamut from shock, sadness, grief, and depression, to irrational guilt, shame, anxiety about future pregnancies, and even symptoms of PTSD. These may be intensified by the hormonal changes that take place as your body readjusts to not being pregnant, and you may feel as though you are on a roller coaster of emotions.

Women grieve their loss in different ways. Sometimes the impact is felt right after miscarriage and sometimes not until several weeks later. It can also take different amounts of time to work through the pain and heartache. Some women, for instance, may come to terms with their loss within a few weeks. For others, it may take longer. Some want to talk about how they feel. Others may find talking about it too painful. There is no right or wrong way. Irvine Christian Counseling can provide support during this difficult time.

Common Emotions After Miscarriage

Shock and denial Miscarriage may come as a huge shock, and you may refuse to believe that your baby could have stopped growing inside you without your knowledge.

Numbness At first, you may feel numb and unable to discern what you are feeling, or if it is even a valid response to your loss.

Guilt and anger Even though it may seem illogical, you may blame yourself and/or others and feel as though you are in some way responsible for the loss of your baby. You may also feel envious of and irritated by the sight of other pregnant women.

Anxiety You may feel anxious about your ability to get pregnant again, and afraid of having another miscarriage.

Depression You may feel hopeless, empty, and sad, and lose interest in things that you normally enjoy.

Symptoms of PTSD You may experience feelings you had right after miscarriage, as well as intrusive, unwanted thoughts, flashbacks, and/or nightmares, and may respond to triggers by avoiding anything that might remind you of your loss.

Steps to Emotional Healing

Don’t blame yourself The first, and most important thing is to realize that the miscarriage was not your fault and that you are not a failure. Miscarriages rarely happen because of something a woman does or does not do. Learning the facts about miscarriages and what causes them can help dispel myths such as that it could have been caused by stress or lifting heavy objects.

Allow yourself to grieve Grieving over the loss of your baby helps you process your emotions and enables you to move on. Accept your feelings without judging them and don’t try to rush the process.

Reach out to your spouse Reach out to your spouse and encourage him to share his feelings with you, rather than assume his silence implies that he is unaffected by your loss. After miscarriage, husbands also struggle with feelings of grief and loss but may be afraid to talk about it for fear of making their wife’s grief worse.

Create a ritual to commemorate your baby Creating a ritual that acknowledges and commemorates your baby, such as having a memorial service, or planting a tree or shrub in his or her honor, can help you and your spouse process your grief and provide closure to your loss.

Be patient with yourself After miscarriage, your body is in shock, your hormones are out of balance, and you may experience physical as well as emotional pain. It takes time to recover and normalize. Be patient with yourself and take one day at a time.

Journal Journaling can help you identify and make sense of your feelings, identify triggers, and cope with your loss.

Take care of your body Eating a nutritious, well-balanced diet, staying hydrated, and getting adequate sleep can all help your body heal.

Exercise Once you feel physically up to it, start exercising and gradually increase the level of intensity as you are able. A good workout has been found to release endorphins into your bloodstream, which are hormones that reduce stress and enhance feelings of well-being.

Join a support group A miscarriage support group in Irvine, California can provide community and emotional support. Sharing your feelings with others who understand where you are coming from can be reassuring, and hearing about other people’s experiences can help you make sense of your own.

You don’t have to suffer in silence. If you would like to set up a risk-free appointment to meet with one of the faith-based counselors in Irvine, California, please give us a call at Irvine Christian Counseling.